I Wish We Had a Title
by Annouramir
Summary: Join two crazy narrators as they torture... I mean tell a story about Ryo the Tiki God. Yes, it's insane and probably makes no sense.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Ronin Warriors. That I don't. Actually I only own half of this story as well. But I'll get to that in the Author's Note on the bottom.

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><p>Late one evening, we join our two narrators. Both exhausted and on a sugar high…<p>

"I wish we had a title," Hamster sighed.

Orca nodded in agreement. "I wish we had a title as well."

Then Hamster's eyes lit up as if she had an idea, clapping her hands in excitement she said, "Hey! Maybe that can be our title!"

Orca looked at her confused, "What? 'I Wish we Had a Title'?" she quested. Hamster nodded happily. "But then we wouldn't have a title."

Hamster rolled her eyes, "But that would be our title."

"Huh?" Orca exclaimed, "How does that work?"

"Well we are filling up the title page."

"What title?" Orca exclaimed again starting to get frustrated.

"What title indeed," Hamster smirked, "'I Wish we Had a Title' is our title!"

Facepalming, Orca asked, "What kind of title is that?"

"A titally title!" Hamster replied proudly.

"Titally?" Orca questioned, "What is that? Clean or something?"

Hamster shrugged, "Well the story is supposed to remain PG."

"So it can't be dirty? That doesn't make sense."

"It makes perfect sense!"

Orca just glared at Hamster and her stupid smile, "No it doesn't," she muttered.

"Anyway!" Hamster piped up, "Now on with 'I Wish we Had a Title!"

Orca shook her head, "We need a better title…"

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><p>On a quiet day, we see the fields of green grass, lightly blowing in the wind. And then our first narrator speaks, "Once upon a time in a land far away…"<p>

"What a stupid over used opening," Orca muttered.

Hamster winced and looked at her fellow narrator, "How would you do it?"

Orca rubbed her chin and cleared her throat, opening her mouth she was about to speak but no words came out.

Hamster just shook her head, "As I was saying there was a great power known as Ryo, the Great Tiki God!" Suddenly the camera angle dives in to weird sort of Tiki hut.

Ryo seemed to appear from nowhere wearing a grass skirt and holding a Tiki torch. He blinks his blue eyes a few times as he looks around, "What am I doing here?" he asked.

Orca snorted and throws her hands over her mouth as she starts to laugh, "Ryo! A god!" her laughter getting even louder as she doesn't even bother to muffle it anymore, "Be funnier if he had a big hat."

Ryo was still looking around confused when a large grass hat appears on his head.

Orca blinked at what she did. Then her eyes got even bigger, "Cool! Now he needs a dress!" she exclaimed.

Ryo's clothes suddenly change into another outfit all together, if he wasn't so confused he'd probably be embarrassed by the dress he was now wearing. Even if it was relatively stylish.

Orca giggled, "I love being a narrator!"

Hamster just shook her head, "Leave Ryo alone," she said.

Sighing in disproval, Orca said, "Fine."

With a snap of Orca's fingers, Ryo's clothes turned back into the grass skirt and the hat was gone. Ryo scratched his head with his free hand that wasn't holding onto the Tiki torch, "I'm confused…"

Hamster's eyebrow twitched, "Will you all be quiet! Trying to tell a story here…" she exclaimed. Orca raised her hands in mock defeat, falling quiet for the time being. Hamster smiled in approval and took a deep breath, "Ryo's long time rival is Talpa! The Evil…"

"Beaver!"

"Beaver?" Hamster questioned.

Orca nodded, proud of herself, "Yes. Talpa is now a beaver."

Hamster sighed, not wanting to argue, "Talpa. The Evil Beaver God."

Talpa somehow magically appears. He looks realativly normal. Except for the fact that now he has a flat beaver tail and a set of buck teeth sticking out of his face mask. Orca bursts out laughing and even Hamster can't argue with how silly he looks. If Talpa could, he would be frowning as he said, "I feel humiliated, can I go home?"

Through her snickering Orca said, "No."

Ryo was finally paying attention enough to realize Talpa standing in front of him and couldn't help but start to laugh as well, "That's Talpa?"

"Curse you narrators." Talpa mumbled.

"Anyway… let's continue."

Wiping a tear from her eye Orca agreed, "Yes lets," before the low rumble of her tummy interrupted Hamster's thoughts.

"Is someone hungry?" Hamster asked. When Orca nodded, Hamster said, "Come to think of it, me to. Be right back boys."

As Hamster and Orca began walking away, Orca started exclaiming about all the food that they were going to get leaving Ryo and Talpa still standing in confusion.

Ryo snorted, "You're a beaver."

Talpa eyed Ryo, "And you're a Tiki. Made of wood. And I'm hungry to," he said with a scary twinkle in his eye.

Ryo put the words together and screamed. Throwing his arms up in the air, Ryo tried to begin running away. Talpa laughed evilly and began running after Ryo.

When Orca and Hamster returned with their arms full of snacks they noticed poor Ryo running away screaming as Talpa continued to chase him. Looking a bit concerned, Hamster said, "Maybe we shouldn't have left them alone."

Orca waved it off the best she could, with her hands full and said, "They'll be fine." Two lawn chairs appeared and Orca took a spot in one as she said, "Besides it got the story really going."

Hamster shrugged and took her place in the other seat. The two continued to watch Ryo running around as they began to dig into their snacks. Ryo, finally able to ditch Talpa long enough ran up to the narrators, panting and out of breath he said, "Can I get someone to help me?"

Hamster and Orca exchanged glances before Hamster sighed, "Fine." And snapped her fingers.

Appearing next to the three, Yulie smiled, "You do like me!"

Orca shook her head, "No, we just felt sorry for Ryo."

Ryo took hold of Yulie's shoulders, "My messenger, Kiki!" he exclaimed.

Yulie looked at Ryo confused, "Kik? What kind of name is that?"

Obviously Ryo didn't hear him or care when he exclaimed, "Go find Sara!"

Coughing on a chip, Orca looks at Hamster, "Hey, why can't he find Avon first?" she asked.

Hamster just smiled to herself, "Because I decided Sara should be the heroine of the story."

Orca mumbled to herself as she slouched down in her chair, taking another handful of chips as she did so.

Yulie saluted Ryo, "Right away sir!" he said dramatically before he vanished into the air to find Ryo's savior.

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><p>Author's Note: Uh where to begin. This is actually a story that I wrote a long time ago with my friend. It was posted on FanFiction a while back, but was taken down because it was in script format. Well now it's back, even if that's probably a bad thing. I don't know if I'll actually keep working on it, considering I'm doing a few other projects as well, but I just felt like do this for now.<p>

And as an extra note: If there's the question of who Sara and Avon are; they're just genderbent versions of Sage and Cye. (Yes I use the Ronin Warrior names over the Samurai Troopers because that's what I'm used to.) They're pretty much the same as who they're based on, but for our own reasons they're female now. Sorry if it bothers people.

And I apologize for any trauma Talpa the Evil Beaver God may have caused.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I still don't own Ronin Warriors. That I don't. I also don't own a bunch of other things that could possibly be mentioned through this story.

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><p>Yulie appeared in another place and immediately began searching for Sara. He knew he was to look for the blonde warrior however when he came upon her, it was to his surprise that she wasn't what he expected to find. For somehow Sara was a raccoon.<p>

Sara sat on the ground, trying to fold her arms in disgust but found it difficult so she stuck to scowling instead, or at least as scowling as she could manage "How did I end up becoming a raccoon?"

Orca shrugged, "Well you can be the cutest raccoon in the world," she suggested.

Without missing a beat, Yulie exclaimed, "Sara! The Great Tiki God, Ryo, needs your help to be saved from Talpa the Evil Beaver God!"

Sara gasped, "I shall go save him!" however she looked around, "But I do not know where to go."

Yulie continued to explain, "You need to go to the Grand Elder Tiki City!"

"But how do I get there?" She asked starting to get impatient.

"Follow the foamy block road!" Yulie announced.

Sara blinked a few times, "I thought it was the yellow brick road."

Somehow a second Yulie appeared and repeated, "Follow the foamy block road!" Then to Sara's horror even more copies of Yulie appeared all repeating, "Follow the foamy block road!" until they were all synchronized and began to same, "Follow the foamy block road! Follow the foamy block road! Follow follow follow follow follow the foamy block road!"

Sara began backing up slowly, "Okay I get it." As all the Yulie's continued to sing she took this as her opportunity to scamper away, as raccoons do, in terror.

Once Sara was gone all the Yulie's vanished until only one remained, "See how helpful I was?" he asked proudly.

Orca rolled her eyes, "Whatever your part is done now."

Yulie looked at the two narrators and never expected the trap door to appear below him as he fell through. Hamster looked down at the trap door with a smile, "No more Yulie!"

Sara was continuing to run to the best of her ability and was finally starting to slow down. She was determined now to save Ryo. Or at least she would have been until, "Oh shiny!" she exclaimed as something caught her eye. She blinked a few times and slapped herself in the face when she realized what she said, "Stupid raccoon body." She muttered. Then it was like she wasn't listening to herself as she began walking towards the shiny object, "No! Halt. Do some… thing… shiny…" she tried to object but found herself to fascinated by whatever it was. She picked up the shiny object and shook it.

To her surprise the object exclaimed, "Oi! Stop that!" with a strong Australian accent. Sara looked over the object, which appeared to be a snail.

Orca coughed, "A snail… with an accent? No! Avon can't be a snail!"

Hamster grinned, "Well she is. This is what you get for turning Sara into a raccoon."

Sara ignored the narrators and turned the snail right side up, "Avon! I am sorry."

Avon just looked back with her snaily eyes, "It's alright, mate." She said.

Sara sighed, this was just getting silly if you asked her. Finally she asked, "Avon, would you care to join me in the saving of Ryo?"

Avon would shrug if she could, "It's not like I have better things to do. But you'll have to carry me. I am a snail."

Sara shook her head and sighed again, "Stupid narrators." She then carefully placed Avon on her shoulder and repeated to herself the directions Yulie had given, "Follow the foamy block road."

"Why do I feel like singing a song?" Avon asked.

Sara rolled her eyes and began following the road. The two continued on for some time on their way to save Ryo. However it probably would have gone faster if Sara would stop being distracted by shiny objects she found along the way. Under her breath she muttered, "Damn raccooniness…"

Avon paused, "'Raccooniness'? That's not even a word."

"I do not care anymore," Sara mumbled, "My feet hurt and this is taking too long."

Avon sighed, "It doesn't help you're a tiny little thing and have short little legs…"

"At least I have legs."

Avon grumbled, "If I had a tongue, I'd stick it out at you right now…"

Orca watched the two heroines continue to walk along the road and then exclaimed, "They're boring. We need some excitement! Let's go see what Talpa is up to!"

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><p>Author's note: Poor Ronin Warriors. They need more love. :( Anyway. Err short chapter is short, but it worked as a good break point.<p> 


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